If like us, you’ve heard this a million times already then it’s time to fight back.

Maybe it’s too soon!

As a start-up community we get a lot of emails. Over the last 4-5 weeks though our inboxes have been filling up at an alarming rate with the worst emails and messages. ‘Stay safe’ is everywhere, even John Snow has been signing of with it.

We did.

John aside though these harmless phrases have been co-opted for every piece of communication under the sun, so we thought we’d poke some fun at them.

*NB if you wrote these it’s just a bit of fun, but seriously get on a copywriting course asap.

The classic Coronavirus intro:

I hope you are doing well and staying safe…

Courtesy of every LinkedIn message I’ve received recently.

Whilst I applaud the sentiment this has become so overused as to become meaningless. In fact it’s now a replacement for a more traditional salutation such as ‘Hi’ or ‘Hello’ or ‘Dear…’.

I mean really! We’re locked in our homes, none of us is intentionally not staying safe, or at least I hope we’re not.

*Of course there is always an exception to the rule. He tested positive 2 days later after touching all the mics at a press conference.

The next thing that invariably comes up is an attempt at ethos. Normally cloaked by a statement designed (let’s hope so anyway) to demonstrate how we’re all in the same boat. I guess the hope is that the recipient will think “yeah you know what we’re all in lockdown, so maybe I should hire that offshore dev team that cold emailed me out of the blue”.

If you respond to these please let me know for a separate study!

And then we’re into the meat. I’ve seen communications start with the classic above that then drift straight into the pitch that’s clearly just been copy/pasted from pre-coronavirus efforts. Where it used to start “Having problems with people not paying..” it now starts ” I hope you’re staying safe..are you having problems with people not paying?”. I pick this example because I bet a bunch of us are having problems with people not paying, or we’re not paying for stuff.

You know what though, suck it up we’re all in this together.

Wanna see what bad cold email looks like? Click here.

It’s not all bad.

There are some people out there who have really thought about how they can both talk to businesses and also be mindful that the business in question maybe dissolving before the founders eyes. As ever Hubspot have been pretty on point, their emails tend to be a mix. A little bit of Covid-19 madness tinged with some useful stuff that reminds you there are people still out there, even if they’re strapping skulls to their car and perfecting their Mad Max look as we speak.

It seems as we live through this major change to our global society the comms that work best are those that are succinct, to the point and provide relevant information. Quite frankly who’s got time to process anything else when we’ve got to think of something creative to do with 300 toilet rolls.

If you need some tips E-consultancy created a handy guide, here.

Above all this is a great time to connect with your fellow humans. Yeah we need to sell stuff, but you know what sometimes some things are a little more important. I’d love to get an email that simply says, you know what it’s a hard time for all of us, we’re not going to bombard you we just want to wish you well and hope to see you on the other side. Here’s hoping….

And of course don’t forget, we’re here for you.

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